“…having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead.” Colossians 2:12
I have been baptized! I’ve waited so long for this day! Many opportunities had gone by before this one, but I don’t regret it - this was the right time! When I understood what the baptism stands for and its deep meaning I wanted mine to be special. I did not want just anybody to baptize me either, it needed to be a spiritual father to me, and I found one in Panama.
I'm thrilled she was there...
Pastor Danny, our contact there, encouraged me in so many ways without even realizing it. I felt lead by God when I asked him to do what Matthew 28:19 says on my life. Being buried and raised with in baptism to declare publicly my faith and devotion for Him and His sacrifice meant the world to me. The setting was perfect - perfect place and perfect companionship for that special moment.
I also got to teach English for some really awesome dudes from La Comarca on Wednesday. It was such a blessing to teach English because no one ever taught it to me. I simply learned it by the grace of God. Their passion was not limited to learning the English lesson but also for the different ways the Lord takes care of them.
Before we headed back to Costa Rica, I got a great reminder of Jesus’s sacrifice for all of us. On Easter Sunday at Panama International Church they had an illustrated sermon about Christ’s journey to the cross and then His resurrection. It was such a refreshing service with some graphic scenes that really made me remember how much Jesus suffered for us, how He chose to be obedient just so that our unworthy souls could be forgiven.
Goodbye Panama, so many lessons and memories piled up in such a short time!
Monday was my first official international missionary performance and I loved it! Now, I don't like the title of missionary for just a short mission trip, but I consider this title as a big responsibility that I have to fulfill daily. I learned in my church, that wherever I am and whenever the Spirit leads me to, I have to be ready, willing and receptive to share about the Kingdom with whoever is in the way, no matter how it looks like to other people around, and that's what being a missionary is all about. Everybody needs Jesus, and even though not everyone wants him, it is not our job to choose who gets to hear about him, but to speak about him to the ones He chose us to.
This has been my mindset for a while now and it was up until I decided it to be this way that I started seeing all of the divine appointments that God sets for us on a daily basis. If I wouldn't had been willing to do ministry and translate for teams I wouldn't have met my fiancé for example.
One of these divine appointments happened on Sunday night when Panama greeted us at the border with a man and his wounded leg. He was asking for money but I knew there was a deeper need in his life. After I said hi to him and asked him to tell me his story, I prayed for him. His sad face faded away and a smile shinned through. He was not hungry, but starving for some love of God.
The next day, on Monday, a lot of divine appointments happened too when we visited an indigenous school in the mountains of Quebrada del Loro in La Comarca, Panama. All of those little faces lighted up when they saw us getting out of the car after a tough 45 minute drive uphill. I had always wanted to be in a place where no one knew about Christ and I thought I'd need to travel to the other side of the world to get there. However, I got a huge surprise when I asked some of the kids here if they knew who Jesus is and they said no, but what really slapped me right on my face was when after a brief summary of who Jesus is they said they didn't believe in him, nor wanted to. Then I realized and was reminded of the need of the Gospel all over the world, even on our side of it.
There's a church near by that's doing a great job in the area and the school wants the Bible to be taught in there. Danny and Heather (our contacts here) are doing an outstanding job too, but they need our support in prayers hardcore, so let's pray for them!
It was a pretty exciting day that started with me covering up some of my ink and taking my earrings off since we were serving with very conservative brothers, then I got to pray and give a word from The Lord to an old man, I also translated for members of another team that was there that were struggling trying to explain kickball to the kids in English, I taught some soccer to the kids, introduce Jesus to some of them and worshipped with the team.
I also can't overlook God's mind-blowing provision that happened in such a short time exceeding all of my human expectations. Ashli, my fiancé, posted a blog about it here. You should check out how God used really awesome, willing and loving people to provide for this trip. Thank you for sowing!
It was such an honor to do my first mission trip with the best missionary...
This trip had a crazy start and I can't wait to see what else God is holding for us in these few days left, I bet it's great.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11
We live for God´s glory, right? He gets glory from His creation and His plan for it, but there’s no way we can get to fully understand God’s plan. No way to know the reason of every little thing in the world and that little fact right there could easily become a very obsessive and frustrating concept. There’s so much we don’t know and that we’ll never get to know because of the simple fact that we aren’t God and we will never be.
One of the hardest things about following God and His will for our lives is to be able to trust in Him and everything that implies. Trusting that He always has the best thing in mind for us and our beloved ones, trusting that He is always with us even when we’re more afraid and alone than ever before, and also the one that captivates me the most; trusting in His timing.
This scripture in Ecclesiastes tells us that He has made everything beautiful in its time, but let me throw this out there: what if I’m sick and God does not want to heal me right now or for many years or at all during my lifetime? It wouldn’t matter how hard I prayed, I can’t change His will. That would be a hard pill to swallow, wouldn’t it? What if God does not want us to have a long happy life but instead a very painful and harsh one? Would He still be glorified? Would we still trust in Him?
If we live for His glory and we are willing to do anything for Him, we will blindly trust in His timing and will. Every time I pray for a stranger’s healing in the street I ask God to heal him so that He can be glorified but then I think: “Well, what if this is not the right time for this person to be healed? Is God still being glorified right now?” It’s not that I lack faith in that prayer being heard but I always want His will to prevail, even when it doesn't make sense or it is the opposite of what I’m praying for, and then I just glorify Him for what He’s up to with that person’s life.
Before I met Christ I was so mad at God for not doing things the way I wanted Him to, but when I came across Romans 8:28 it all made sense: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Keywords here: his purpose. His desire, his ambition, his dreams for our lives. I can assure you that that is infinitely better than any of our desires, ambitions and dreams for ourselves. Thank you God for being the one in charge and not me! What a relieve!
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
When Paul wrote these verses he had been through all kinds of circumstances for the sake of the Gospel. You can tell he’s weary when you read it but he knows better than to get mad at God for not having a smooth ride through the nations, he fixes his eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. So let me ask again, what if we never get to be rich? Or what if we never have perfectly functioning bodies? Or what if we never get to understand why something terrible happened in our lives? Are we gonna be forever bitter about it or are we going to trust in the Unseen? All of these questions become irrelevant when we accept His will into our lives.
His timing is perfect and so is his plan for our life, it’s a plan to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). All it takes is trust. Trust that He is in control and that whatever happens, even if we hate it, even if it hurts all the way to our very core, it’s going to be for our own good according to his purpose. It’s all for His glory.
There are two types of testimonies
in the life of a Christian: that of one’s life before meeting Christ and the
testimony of God’s work after meeting Christ. In this post, I’m going to share part of my life before Jesus saved me. So
just know my after-Christ story is a bit more glorious. So, here it goes…
My birth was neither planned nor wanted. My parents got pregnant with my older brother
when they were 17 years old and were obligated to get married. Twelve months
and 2 days later, I arrived. By the time I was 5, violence in our home finally
tore my parent’s marriage apart. With my dad out of the picture, we grew up poor
and without luxuries. The shoes I wore were not my size and I never had cool
clothes or toys. Sometimes mom wouldn’t eat so that my brother and I could have
dinner.
My dad was absent for a big part of my life
after the divorce. During that time my mother had to work to support us so while
she was gone, my brother and I would spend all afternoon at my cousin’s house.
I was in kindergarten and too young to know what was really happening when my cousin abused me. It was supposed to be a secret and a game so, in my naivety,
I believed it. It lasted a few months and I didn’t understand what had happened
until years later when, in a sexual education class in elementary school, they
explained to us what molestation is.
My mom didn’t
believe me when I told her and I had no father to confide in. Sure, I had a few
stepdads throughout my childhood but never a father to provide shelter or a
safe place for me. I had no one. So left
all alone with my shame, I started hating myself and everyone else. I quickly
became depressed, angry and felt so unloved.
I heard about God a few times before - from few
different religions. So many rules and restrictions to receive love from God
made as much sense as to blame Him for everything I felt. So I decided to
become an atheist.
I learned to drink my pain away by following
my second stepfather’s example. Finally, my alcohol problem got out of control
at age of 15. That got me kicked out of home to start finding my way through a
life that went on and on into a self-destructive cycle.
Suicide seemed the only way out many times in
my life. It became more and more appealing and almost became my final path
until I got saved. Not by a religion or a church but by a loving Father. I’ve
never been the kind of kid that a parent would feel proud of, but this wasn’t
like any parent I have had. He took away my shame, my hate, and my solitude. My
life made sense. Pablo Olivares’s testimonial movie made me understand that if
God could restore someone like him He might as well restore me, and He did! I
had to get rid of my pride and accept that my life was going nowhere without
Him. That wasn’t easy at all but from that point on my life has been worthy. It
was not easy but He was there all the way through the profound healing and the
deep restoration with His endless love and forgiveness.
A few months after I accepted Christ I wrote a
song. While it may not be the best song ever written, it has significant
meaning to me. Music has always been an outlet for me and when I was an atheist,
I wrote and sang about my hatred to God so writing this song was
the first time I remember worshipping God with all my soul. I really hope that my testimony and this song speak to you in your walk with the Lord. Remember, whoever you are, wherever you are, no matter what you've done, God's will is to forgive you, love you and heal you. I have translated
the lyrics since it’s in Spanish so that you can comprehend better what it
stands for. You can play the song at the bottom of the page!
Clamor (Cry Out)
Take what’s hidden in this
heart
I’m exhausted, can´t deal with this pain any more
Forgive
me for saying I didn’t need you
Give me your peace Lord, you’re what I was looking for
I’ve walked for so long, come carry me
Wipe my tears away, come hug me
Heal my past, come touch me
I’ve never missed you so much
Show me the way out of this
maze
You know I’m not lying, I am sorry
Take
this heavy mask off of me
Give me your strength Lord, without you I can’t go on
