Are You Lonesome Tonight?

 So my fiancée has been gone for 70 days now. If you’re familiar with our relationship you know that we go everywhere together, do everything together and spend a lot of time together. Given the fact that she was new in my country when we first met and needed a friend to show her around, I, as the gentleman that I am, offered my assistance to this pretty lady in need! Long story short, she had to go back to the USA while we’re waiting for my visa to be approved and for us to get hitched up there. Since she’s been gone there’s been a huge empty space in my day-to-day life and it has been filled with a loneliness that has shown me that, no matter how much I don’t want to admit it, I depend on her to be happy, to feel fulfilled and satisfied.

I miss my best friend, my future wife and my partner in crime...

 With that said you can probably see where this is going. God woke me up and reminded me the He is enough. He is all I need to feel and be complete, but that's my own journey. Now, there’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes down to feeling alone. ALL OF US have been there at some point of our lives. Some of us sink in it way more than others, but the feeling is the same - emptiness, hopelessness, loneliness.

 When I was growing up I felt extremely rejected by my parents and family. I was always the “problem child” and that label pushed me farther and farther into solitude as I got older. Before I started following Jesus, I did some pretty stupid things to deal with my good ole friend Mr. Loneliness. Among those things were alcohol, twisted relationships, fights, getting in trouble, whatever helped to get some attention or ease the pain inside.

 None of that worked, of course, and after I was done with it all and was saved I realized something: God was the only thing I hadn’t tried yet. When I finally did, the emptiness was filled. It was gone! Only God with His love could heal my broken heart and all of my wounds (Ps. 147:3). He made me understand that even if our closest loved ones forsake us He will take care of us (Ps. 27:10). And not just that, He also believes in me and asks me to be strong and of good courage for HE WILL NEVER ABANDON ME (Josh. 1:9). He has kept reminding me of these truths during the past 70 days as I was whining and asking if I was paying for all the wrong I did in my 20 something years.

 During this season away from the woman that makes my heart swell, I’ve learned how to use loneliness to draw closer to Him, and to take advantage of that silence that seemed thicker than Play-Doh to listen to His voice more audible than ever before. After all, Jesus sought places to be with the Father. He knew that in being alone He could find a better communion with God. 

 How do I deal with this maddening loneliness of mine?

 First, we have to know that loneliness is a very emotional thing, therefore there’s a few ways to attack it and here’s a list of the top 5 that I’ve found more successful:

 1-Spend time in prayer and in the Word: It’s the best remedy for everything! You will find that God alone is all we need to fill every little empty space. Psalms are especially encouraging and always lift my spirit in times of incertitude. Search for Him in prayer at all time. Lonely times are usually very confusing, but those who seek the Lord understand all, says Proverbs 28:5. 

 2-Stay away from depressing music and/or movies: If the reason of your loneliness is a recent break up, the worst thing you can ever do is to listen to heart breaking love songs. Now, if this is not the reason why you feel this way, but it is rather a constant feeling, that rule applies too! Avoid filling your heart with crap while it is so susceptive and feed it with positivity and encouragement instead! (Prov. 4:23)

 3-Work out: It has been proven that working out fights sadness and makes you feel better. Go out and run or walk for about 30 minutes every other day or daily if you have to,  it's not only a good idea to get distracted but also you’ll feel way better physically and mentally. Trust me!

 4-Help someone else: It might just sound crazy, but helping somebody in need or praying for the sick will make you see that life is not all about you or your current situation and will also give you a complete different perspective of the game.

 5-Know that you’re not alone: The enemy walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour and just like a lion he will try to separate you from the herd. Reach out for people from your church (and if you’re not going to any yet this is a good time to start) or relatives or friends that you really trust and you’ll find that besides Jesus you can count on other people that love you!

 God loves you unconditionally and He created you with a very specific purpose; don’t give up until you fulfill it!

“Fear not, for I am with you;

Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you,

Yes, I will help you,

I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

The Timing of His Will

 “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11

 We live for God´s glory, right? He gets glory from His creation and His plan for it, but there’s no way we can get to fully understand God’s plan. No way to know the reason of every little thing in the world and that little fact right there could easily become a very obsessive and frustrating concept. There’s so much we don’t know and that we’ll never get to know because of the simple fact that we aren’t God and we will never be.

 One of the hardest things about following God and His will for our lives is to be able to trust in Him and everything that implies. Trusting that He always has the best thing in mind for us and our beloved ones, trusting that He is always with us even when we’re more afraid and alone than ever before, and also the one that captivates me the most; trusting in His timing.

 This scripture in Ecclesiastes tells us that He has made everything beautiful in its time, but let me throw this out there: what if I’m sick and God does not want to heal me right now or for many years or at all during my lifetime? It wouldn’t matter how hard I prayed, I can’t change His will. That would be a hard pill to swallow, wouldn’t it? What if God does not want us to have a long happy life but instead a very painful and harsh one? Would He still be glorified? Would we still trust in Him?

 If we live for His glory and we are willing to do anything for Him, we will blindly trust in His timing and will. Every time I pray for a stranger’s healing in the street I ask God to heal him so that He can be glorified but then I think: “Well, what if this is not the right time for this person to be healed? Is God still being glorified right now?” It’s not that I lack faith in that prayer being heard but I always want His will to prevail, even when it doesn't make sense or it is the opposite of what I’m praying for, and then I just glorify Him for what He’s up to with that person’s life.

 Before I met Christ I was so mad at God for not doing things the way I wanted Him to, but when I came across Romans 8:28 it all made sense: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Keywords here: his purpose. His desire, his ambition, his dreams for our lives. I can assure you that that is infinitely better than any of our desires, ambitions and dreams for ourselves. Thank you God for being the one in charge and not me! What a relieve!

 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

 When Paul wrote these verses he had been through all kinds of circumstances for the sake of the Gospel. You can tell he’s weary when you read it but he knows better than to get mad at God for not having a smooth ride through the nations, he fixes his eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. So let me ask again, what if we never get to be rich? Or what if we never have perfectly functioning bodies? Or what if we never get to understand why something terrible happened in our lives? Are we gonna be forever bitter about it or are we going to trust in the Unseen? All of these questions become irrelevant when we accept His will into our lives.

 His timing is perfect and so is his plan for our life, it’s a plan to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). All it takes is trust. Trust that He is in control and that whatever happens, even if we hate it, even if it hurts all the way to our very core, it’s going to be for our own good according to his purpose. It’s all for His glory.