Are You Lonesome Tonight?

 So my fiancée has been gone for 70 days now. If you’re familiar with our relationship you know that we go everywhere together, do everything together and spend a lot of time together. Given the fact that she was new in my country when we first met and needed a friend to show her around, I, as the gentleman that I am, offered my assistance to this pretty lady in need! Long story short, she had to go back to the USA while we’re waiting for my visa to be approved and for us to get hitched up there. Since she’s been gone there’s been a huge empty space in my day-to-day life and it has been filled with a loneliness that has shown me that, no matter how much I don’t want to admit it, I depend on her to be happy, to feel fulfilled and satisfied.

I miss my best friend, my future wife and my partner in crime...

 With that said you can probably see where this is going. God woke me up and reminded me the He is enough. He is all I need to feel and be complete, but that's my own journey. Now, there’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes down to feeling alone. ALL OF US have been there at some point of our lives. Some of us sink in it way more than others, but the feeling is the same - emptiness, hopelessness, loneliness.

 When I was growing up I felt extremely rejected by my parents and family. I was always the “problem child” and that label pushed me farther and farther into solitude as I got older. Before I started following Jesus, I did some pretty stupid things to deal with my good ole friend Mr. Loneliness. Among those things were alcohol, twisted relationships, fights, getting in trouble, whatever helped to get some attention or ease the pain inside.

 None of that worked, of course, and after I was done with it all and was saved I realized something: God was the only thing I hadn’t tried yet. When I finally did, the emptiness was filled. It was gone! Only God with His love could heal my broken heart and all of my wounds (Ps. 147:3). He made me understand that even if our closest loved ones forsake us He will take care of us (Ps. 27:10). And not just that, He also believes in me and asks me to be strong and of good courage for HE WILL NEVER ABANDON ME (Josh. 1:9). He has kept reminding me of these truths during the past 70 days as I was whining and asking if I was paying for all the wrong I did in my 20 something years.

 During this season away from the woman that makes my heart swell, I’ve learned how to use loneliness to draw closer to Him, and to take advantage of that silence that seemed thicker than Play-Doh to listen to His voice more audible than ever before. After all, Jesus sought places to be with the Father. He knew that in being alone He could find a better communion with God. 

 How do I deal with this maddening loneliness of mine?

 First, we have to know that loneliness is a very emotional thing, therefore there’s a few ways to attack it and here’s a list of the top 5 that I’ve found more successful:

 1-Spend time in prayer and in the Word: It’s the best remedy for everything! You will find that God alone is all we need to fill every little empty space. Psalms are especially encouraging and always lift my spirit in times of incertitude. Search for Him in prayer at all time. Lonely times are usually very confusing, but those who seek the Lord understand all, says Proverbs 28:5. 

 2-Stay away from depressing music and/or movies: If the reason of your loneliness is a recent break up, the worst thing you can ever do is to listen to heart breaking love songs. Now, if this is not the reason why you feel this way, but it is rather a constant feeling, that rule applies too! Avoid filling your heart with crap while it is so susceptive and feed it with positivity and encouragement instead! (Prov. 4:23)

 3-Work out: It has been proven that working out fights sadness and makes you feel better. Go out and run or walk for about 30 minutes every other day or daily if you have to,  it's not only a good idea to get distracted but also you’ll feel way better physically and mentally. Trust me!

 4-Help someone else: It might just sound crazy, but helping somebody in need or praying for the sick will make you see that life is not all about you or your current situation and will also give you a complete different perspective of the game.

 5-Know that you’re not alone: The enemy walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour and just like a lion he will try to separate you from the herd. Reach out for people from your church (and if you’re not going to any yet this is a good time to start) or relatives or friends that you really trust and you’ll find that besides Jesus you can count on other people that love you!

 God loves you unconditionally and He created you with a very specific purpose; don’t give up until you fulfill it!

“Fear not, for I am with you;

Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you,

Yes, I will help you,

I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

Into the Water I Went

 “…having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead.” Colossians 2:12

 I have been baptized! I’ve waited so long for this day! Many opportunities had gone by before this one, but I don’t regret it - this was the right time! When I understood what the baptism stands for and its deep meaning I wanted mine to be special. I did not want just anybody to baptize me either, it needed to be a spiritual father to me, and I found one in Panama.

I'm thrilled she was there...

 Pastor Danny, our contact there, encouraged me in so many ways without even realizing it. I felt lead by God when I asked him to do what Matthew 28:19 says on my life. Being buried and raised with in baptism to declare publicly my faith and devotion for Him and His sacrifice meant the world to me. The setting was perfect - perfect place and perfect companionship for that special moment.

 I also got to teach English for some really awesome dudes from La Comarca on Wednesday. It was such a blessing to teach English because no one ever taught it to me. I simply learned it by the grace of God. Their passion was not limited to learning the English lesson but also for the different ways the Lord takes care of them.

 Before we headed back to Costa Rica, I got a great reminder of Jesus’s sacrifice for all of us. On Easter Sunday at Panama International Church they had an illustrated sermon about Christ’s journey to the cross and then His resurrection. It was such a refreshing service with some graphic scenes that really made me remember how much Jesus suffered for us, how He chose to be obedient just so that our unworthy souls could be forgiven.

 Goodbye Panama, so many lessons and memories piled up in such a short time!

Into the Hills We Went

 Monday was my first official international missionary performance and I loved it! Now, I don't like the title of missionary for just a short mission trip, but I consider this title as a big responsibility that I have to fulfill daily. I learned in my church, that wherever I am and whenever the Spirit leads me to, I have to be ready, willing and receptive to share about the Kingdom with whoever is in the way, no matter how it looks like to other people around, and that's what being a missionary is all about. Everybody needs Jesus, and even though not everyone wants him, it is not our job to choose who gets to hear about him, but to speak about him to the ones He chose us to.

 This has been my mindset for a while now and it was up until I decided it to be this way that I started seeing all of the divine appointments that God sets for us on a daily basis. If I wouldn't had been willing to do ministry and translate for teams I wouldn't have met my fiancé for example. 

 One of these divine appointments happened on Sunday night when Panama greeted us at the border with a man and his wounded leg. He was asking for money but I knew there was a deeper need in his life. After I said hi to him and asked him to tell me his story, I prayed for him. His sad face faded away and a smile shinned through. He was not hungry, but starving for some love of God.

 The next day, on Monday, a lot of divine appointments happened too when we visited an indigenous school in the mountains of Quebrada del Loro in La Comarca, Panama. All of those little faces lighted up when they saw us getting out of the car after a tough 45 minute drive uphill. I had always wanted to be in a place where no one knew about Christ and I thought I'd need to travel to the other side of the world to get there. However, I got a huge surprise when I asked some of the kids here if they knew who Jesus is and they said no, but what really slapped me right on my face was when after a brief summary of who Jesus is they said they didn't believe in him, nor wanted to. Then I realized and was reminded of the need of the Gospel all over the world, even on our side of it.

 There's a church near by that's doing a great job in the area and the school wants the Bible to be taught in there. Danny and Heather (our contacts here) are doing an outstanding job too, but they need our support in prayers hardcore, so let's pray for them! 

 It was a pretty exciting day that started with me covering up some of my ink and taking my earrings off since we were serving with very conservative brothers, then I got to pray and give a word from The Lord to an old man, I also translated for members of another team that was there that were struggling trying to explain kickball to the kids in English, I taught some soccer to the kids, introduce Jesus to some of them and worshipped with the team.

 I also can't overlook God's mind-blowing provision that happened in such a short time exceeding all of my human expectations. Ashli, my fiancé, posted a blog about it here. You should check out how God used really awesome, willing and loving people to provide for this trip. Thank you for sowing!

It was such an honor to do my first mission trip with the best missionary...

 This trip had a crazy start and I can't wait to see what else God is holding for us in these few days left, I bet it's great.

The Timing of His Will

 “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11

 We live for God´s glory, right? He gets glory from His creation and His plan for it, but there’s no way we can get to fully understand God’s plan. No way to know the reason of every little thing in the world and that little fact right there could easily become a very obsessive and frustrating concept. There’s so much we don’t know and that we’ll never get to know because of the simple fact that we aren’t God and we will never be.

 One of the hardest things about following God and His will for our lives is to be able to trust in Him and everything that implies. Trusting that He always has the best thing in mind for us and our beloved ones, trusting that He is always with us even when we’re more afraid and alone than ever before, and also the one that captivates me the most; trusting in His timing.

 This scripture in Ecclesiastes tells us that He has made everything beautiful in its time, but let me throw this out there: what if I’m sick and God does not want to heal me right now or for many years or at all during my lifetime? It wouldn’t matter how hard I prayed, I can’t change His will. That would be a hard pill to swallow, wouldn’t it? What if God does not want us to have a long happy life but instead a very painful and harsh one? Would He still be glorified? Would we still trust in Him?

 If we live for His glory and we are willing to do anything for Him, we will blindly trust in His timing and will. Every time I pray for a stranger’s healing in the street I ask God to heal him so that He can be glorified but then I think: “Well, what if this is not the right time for this person to be healed? Is God still being glorified right now?” It’s not that I lack faith in that prayer being heard but I always want His will to prevail, even when it doesn't make sense or it is the opposite of what I’m praying for, and then I just glorify Him for what He’s up to with that person’s life.

 Before I met Christ I was so mad at God for not doing things the way I wanted Him to, but when I came across Romans 8:28 it all made sense: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Keywords here: his purpose. His desire, his ambition, his dreams for our lives. I can assure you that that is infinitely better than any of our desires, ambitions and dreams for ourselves. Thank you God for being the one in charge and not me! What a relieve!

 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

 When Paul wrote these verses he had been through all kinds of circumstances for the sake of the Gospel. You can tell he’s weary when you read it but he knows better than to get mad at God for not having a smooth ride through the nations, he fixes his eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. So let me ask again, what if we never get to be rich? Or what if we never have perfectly functioning bodies? Or what if we never get to understand why something terrible happened in our lives? Are we gonna be forever bitter about it or are we going to trust in the Unseen? All of these questions become irrelevant when we accept His will into our lives.

 His timing is perfect and so is his plan for our life, it’s a plan to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). All it takes is trust. Trust that He is in control and that whatever happens, even if we hate it, even if it hurts all the way to our very core, it’s going to be for our own good according to his purpose. It’s all for His glory.